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Tuesday, March 18, 2008
maybe it would be better if i can live life alone ba?
i would ot implicate on others, cause problems and trouble for others.
people who is supposed to care, didn't care. people whom i didn expect they would care, actually cared and even to the extent that they had given up hope on me.
well, i dun blame them. just blame on myself for being too stubborn.
i dun like to bottle things up. but, sometimes, i know i have to do it.
really feel like going bck to the kind of life where i can cry anytime and anywhere i like. bottling things inside me and cry like nobody's business and cry myself to slp. because, i know when i wake up, i will feel better
some may ask, but why cry urself to slp? why can't i just go to slp?
well, my ans is, sometimes when i just lie on my bed and tries to slp, it's just somehow impossible to go to slp.
it's only when i tire myself out by crying, then can i fall asleep peacefully without anything running through my mind.
sometimes i really wish i can talk to someone about my problems. but in reality, i know i can't do that.
-Stay with me;
11:17:00 PM
Sunday, March 16, 2008
haiz..
what are you doing to me? do you really mean wad you say?
words come out from your mouth..does it come from your heart as well?
i really doubt it.
i'm really trying very very hard to keep this relationship going. at times, you're really nice to me. i know it. but there are also times that you treat me as if i'm invisible.
what do you really want? why do you want to hang me up like that? sometimes you give me hope. and sometimes you just make me feel like i've made the wrong choice.
i seriously dunno what to do already.
just now i called you. and we couldn't even talk for 5 minutes. what's wrong?
you complain that i cannot spare time for you. but when i finally found time for you, you didn't want to go out with me.
Fine. you may say that it was too sudden. but i've alredy told you one day in advance.
sometimes you complain that we are drifting further and further away. but do you even make an effort to make the gap smaller? if this relationship is really like non-existent to you, why do you always want to hold on to it even though you may see no hope? seriously, i dunno what's on your mind. if you still want to be together, can you at least treat me like your girlfriend? if not, can you stop hanging me up there? giving me false hopes. if you love me no more, can you just end it once and for all and stop my pain? it is really hurting me alot. i bet you never know this.
i always try to sound happy even though when u say u wan to hang up after 4 minutes.
i really dunno what to say about our relationship already. i've reflected on our relationship on my part. but, have you ever really sit down and think seriously about this?
-Stay with me;
11:08:00 PM